Change

hello anne,
how have u been?
i don't know if it is for the good.
but, i know it is one thing we cant avoid.It is the reason our existence ,our world.I probably love rather am pretty mad about it. i love to see the change for the better in this world .
i love to change everyday i guess thats the reason why i love what i am.
there is one change which is happening as i talk he is going a complete metamorphosis.i donno anne i feel good for him want to support him but i know that this change is a huge one in his life its going to change everything at the end of it i dont even know if he will still be my friend(this is one of those changes).not that i am afraid but just that it is a change :)
love
chinmayi.s.k

crossed

hello anne,
how have u been?
well sometimes i feel violated ,at those times i have to do something to get off this feeling.at that time its quite frustrating until i find what i need like i am feeling now.Nothing i planned worked out today sometimes it happens donno what to do ..i hate such stuff..
i am just wasting time if i am in such a state .Right now i feel like drinking hot chocolate and getting drenched.. in fact i feel like having a hot water bath (god i really need emotion icons to express myself) how are they created ?? this is one more puzzle who cares...
you know what, my classmates are planning a trip to a place .It is one awesome place it smells and feels like heaven there its so beautiful it drags u to it. a lush green plateau ,a dangerous slope ,a green stretch ,the misty peak god it is awesome to the core .i want to camp there sleep there all my life relax and feel the nature, the strong winds ,the romantic feeling that never wades off .when the sun comes i want to feel the gentle warmth of it rays .sleep on the dew dropped fresh grass.It gives a sense of elixir god there are such beautiful things in this world each one formed with an ample amount of innocence . Such a thing has a class of it own so pure that nothing wishes to violate it .I guess thats the ultimate thing one can achieve. wish to achieve it some day...
love,
chinmayi.s.k

day to relax

hello baby,
oops sorry !!!

hello anne, :)
how have ya been ??
well don't ask about me had a great swing today .it was awesome and also painful.
it was such a romantic day slept till 1:15 can ya believe it. I don't think you will be surprised :).
wow the weather was awesome it was raining and you know how much i love rains it was beautiful to the core Betta was looking stunning.i ate hot noodles went out for a walk the sky was a beauty to watch. i felt like getting drenched to the core in fact i felt like getting into a waterfall wish there was one near by.i felt totally fresh .fresh mind, fresh air, fresh sky god it was awesome.there were so many birds flying in the sky i could feel that freedom of flying the wind was at it best .it was a perfect day for a die hard romantic like me.went out had some hot chocolate my senses rejoiced.
this is called "in love" :) if life is always like this it would be the best .
it was a great day every pain i had the previous night was worth it for this day.
love you
chinmayi.s.k

hi anne,
how are u??
i am feeling so horrible.
i donno whats wrong with him or me . well i feel so bad like he is ignoring me or something may be he is not .why am i like that . well by the way he looks so handsome its so much fun to look at him.but it feels horrible when i feel he ignores.dont know what to do..
help me anne
love you,
chinmayi.s.k

hi anne,
how have you been? i have been ok dear
there is lots i have to tell you .you know the first time in my life i felt i have loved the father of my daughter.
today was one of those days when i felt so lovely when i looked at him i felt the maturity of a man i felt he is one guy who could handle me whatever happens he could a perfect husband.The beauty of his heart is enormous i don't think any one who would see it could not love him.i love him quite enough to wish him happy even if he will not be mine.i wish he could me mine.Those broad shoulders that generous heart it felt like i got everything i need just being around him.for the first time i felt i dont know if he can be mine but i wish he could at least be my daughters father. He would make the worlds most wonderful father.it was such a romantic feeling its so hard to describe my heart felt completed. i always wanted my daughter to have wonderful father something i never had i wanted her to think of her father as everything to feel the safety of a protector. the prime reason i choose never to marry and adopt was to give a child all that love she deserved in the world never let her miss anything.Anne do you remember my dream of having a husband who is just not namesake more importantly who can be the best father my daughter desired this is the guy.I will never get this guy i don't care for that i never expect love for me after all that i have seen but i really wish my daughter has a father like him.
i love him too much and would love him to be my husband but more importantly be my daughter's father i want to give her all that i missed in my life
love you,
chinmayi.s.k

hello anne,
how have u been??
me doing ok... btw i learnt a lot in the time between when i last wrote and now.
life is not always fine but it is sometimes is probably. everything need not be as it has to be it is enough if it is as it is best for you.there a lot of people out there who don't get "their love " as they call it but what they don't realize is that theydont need it the way of general perception.
For me although it would be great if i had my guy to hold me in his arms and love me i realised that it would not be possible . But, on the contrary i have been receiving love by the small talks i have with him and the infinite support he always gives me which actually gives me a missing block in my life.I love him for that.
I also realized that there are a lot more people in this world who give me loads of love ,care and affection which add a lot to my world.
That does not mean i don't fantasize my man and me in his arms and all the mills and boons stuff.I probably will experience them one day too ;)
ciao
love,
chinmayi.s.k

back to writing in u waves

hi anne
how are u?
hope u are doing well dear.sorry have not been able to write to you from a long time
dunno why i cud not bring myself to write to you.missed you terribly though.
thanx for being there with me dear .there is a lot u thought me one about life not being fair i don't know how true it is.. i just cant judge anything .things have been good and bad.
i just need strength to go through the whole thing. especially loving without expecting a return just plan something good for me sometimes such things just break me out . give me strength to go ahead .
love ,
chinmayi